Loving your difficult child: Dealing with tantrums

Comments (3)

  • Nabih Farshoukh

    Nabih Farshoukh

    nice post

  • Hibsy

    Hibsy

    Thank you for this post!
    But the real problem is DURING the Tantrum… It sometimes feels like it is no longer related to their ‘unmet wants’ but more like a ‘physical trans’ (if I may call it) that they go through with very little chance of stopping… or they simply get tired…
    On a side note, when out with the kids in public places and a tantrum is about to explode … there is not much that can be done since holding our grounds as parents does not always give the best results :/
    I guess it’s a phase, or at least I hope it is! 🙂

    • admin

      admin

      Hello Hibsy,
      Thank you for your question. May I share it at a later time for other parents to benefit from it?

      You are absolutely right, during a tantrum is the most difficult time to “deal” with it. However, like most things, the difficult is the most important. This is where the child learns whether his/her tantrum was an effective means of communication or if it was not successful.
      This “physical trans” is a accumulation of frustration that usually ends when the needs are met or when he/she realized that it’s not going anywhere and “gets tired”. Therefore, a person’s response during this crucial time is very important.
      This is why I said that we need to figure out WHY it is happening. If the child is in a tantrum because of something he/she wants, then its okay to calm them down (giving them attention) as long as we don’t provide them with the items they are tantrum-ing for.
      If the child is tantrum-ing to escape an activity ( ie: shower) then it is very important not to delay the activity of allow the child to escape it.
      These examples are very important for the future as they allow you to act before hand and prepare the child in the moments you know he will have a tantrum.
      With regards to public tantrums, it is important to note that children are VERY smart and an easily discriminate between the times you will respond to their crying and the times you will not. So I would suggest not worrying about being in public, s this will lead the child to always behave this way in public. Instead, be confident in your parenting choice to teach your child the right way to communicate and to not respond to crying as language. All parents know what tantrums are , so don’t worry about being judged. It is important to stay calm and in control. Also, knowing you will be out in public will help you plan ahead to deal with tantrums and be prepared before they happen.

      Please do not hesitate to ask me further questions or contact me for specific situations.

      Thank you once again for your comment.

      Asma

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